Tonight as we were brushing my 5 year old’s teeth before bedtime, he said “how come you are more nice at night than in the morning?” It gave me a start and I looked at him quizzically.
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OK, my kids don’t really run the house, but I wasn’t sure how to title this post. 😉 When you’re a parent, you have to decide what’s most important to you, and let some other things slide. When we had a second child, then a third, I felt like I had to pick & choose a little more. When you have a child with special needs and/or suffer from anxiety and depression, it can sometimes feel like a battle to get through the days, and hope you don’t screw your kids up.
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When my daughter was 18 months old, my father-in-law suggested that we hurry to have another child so we can get the diaper years “over with.” Their boys were 19 months apart (not on purpose) and that worked for them. I’d always hoped for 2.5 years or so between children but since my first was very high needs and has some special needs, we weren’t sure we were ready for another any sooner. I’d heard so many people say they had trouble conceiving their first & then – oops – surprise! We didn’t want that to happen to us, so we waited until we were really ready for another, to even try.
So, what is the perfect age gap? Is it easier to have more time between them? Have them in rapid succession and “get it over with?” Spoiler alert: there’s no perfect age gap between children. It depends as much on your child’s personality, your own, and your support system as it does on the months or years between them.
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Over the years I’ve read a few articles, blog posts and the like about first time moms vs. second, third and beyond. We’ve all seen some variation of the joke above. Some are hilariously funny, some ring true. However, I find that some are downright condescending and poke fun at first time moms.
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OK not so much a time machine as a time speeder upper. Having children seems to turn your life clock into a ceiling fan. Yet simultaneously, time creeps at a snail’s pace.
Maria wants to live in a world where cloth diapers are the norm and moms can make parenting choices without judgement. When she’s not chasing her 18, 14 and 11-year old kids around, you might find her checking out the latest gadgets, organizing something (again) or exercising in the fresh air. 
