My son is 3 1/2 now and I think I can call him weaned. It was an incredibly gradual, gentle process and was rather different than what I expected. The other day he pointed to my shirt hanging down as I leaned over and said “that’s so I can nurse!”
He hasn’t nursed for nearly a month but I am so happy I truly allowed him to self-wean. I’ve talked about my experience breastfeeding my older children, and how I felt they weren’t able to really self-wean. When my oldest was a newborn, even the idea of nursing a 1 year old was foreign to me.
I even made it through years of nursing in public and my “personal problem” (lopsidedness) when he refused my left side. The weaning process began in earnest a year ago when we transitioned from bedsharing at 2 1/2. He went from nursing day and night to largely at night, then gradually dropping night nursing sessions. When I attended ABC in September he went to sleep without nursing for a full week, and my supply dwindled to nearly nothing.
After that my husband sporadically took over bedtime duty for him while I put the then 9 year old and 5 year old to bed. Sometimes he asked to nurse, sometimes he didn’t. By this winter, he was only asking to nurse a few times a week. Sometimes he nursed himself to sleep and sometimes he latched for a few seconds and was done.
The last time he “nursed” was the week after Mother’s Day and that consisted of a halfhearted latch for about 10 seconds, after me asking if he was sure he wanted to nurse.
I definitely have mixed feelings about this. In the absence of memory loss, he will be my last baby. I’m saying goodbye to that little towheaded baby and hello to a pre-schooler and I’m excited, nostalgic and sad all at the same time. Yet, nursing a toddler isn’t exactly sunshine and rainbows, and I was definitely ready to be done!
If you had told me even 3 1/2 years ago that I would nurse a 3 year old I would have laughed at you. No way.
In fact, this would have been my face.
But here I am. I did it. I allowed a child to self-wean, even if it did involve a large helping of “don’t offer, don’t refuse” encouragement from me.
Whether you are thinking “oh, you pushed him too much” or “oh that is so gross,” I am proud of our achievement, and that I have spent 70% of the last 10.5 years breastfeeding. After so many years of layering tops and “if I can pull it down it’s a nursing shirt,” I’m glad to no longer make fashion choices based on boob access. 😉
Maria wants to live in a world where cloth diapers are the norm and moms can make parenting choices without judgement. When she’s not chasing her 18, 14 and 11-year old kids around, you might find her checking out the latest gadgets, organizing something (again) or exercising in the fresh air. 
my baby is almost two and I am feeling really ready for him to wean. I am not sure how to get him to stop. I have been stopping “on demand” and letting him know he cant just come up and pull out my breasts. I tell him “this is Mommy’s body, you have to ask first” hopefully this will help him to learn not to just come upto me and pull at my shirts! I dont think he is ready to just stop but we have to set up some rules now that his “Maamas” are supplemental and for comfort.
I think having some rules is definitely appropriate. Of course I encourage you to nurse as long as you & baby like but the key there is as long as you like! If you are ready to wean I think it is OK to try to distract/drop a feeding at a time. 🙂 Congrats on making it this far!
We have 4-the youngest is 6 months and my 3rd is 3. I nursed her until 2.5 when I was pregnant with the baby. It was a bitter sweet ending to a long haul that I never thought would be possible. I was so proud of that achievement-maybe even more proud than my double bachelor degrees! God bless you for sharing your journey. I’ve heard from other moms that nursing a toddler is not for the faint of heart, and it’s not, but it’s also an achievement worth boasting about! I hope to be able to nurse my little guy as long as the last one. Kudos to you!
Finding cute shirts to nurse in, is very hard! I’m not sure how long I will breastfeed. I know I am aiming for after the first year. After that, we will see what happens. It’s all new to me, so I didn’t even realize you could let your baby set wean!
Wow! I don’t know the stats off the top of my head, but don’t you decrease your risk of certain cancers by a certain amount each additional year that you breastfeed? You’ve done a great service to the both of you, so way to go! (But now enjoy being FREE!) 😉
I sure hope that works out for me, LOL!
My daughter is 11 months and I hope to breast feed as long as possible. I often wonder how it will work, if it will be her choice or if I will try to gently wean her because I’m just over it. I’ve never breast fed this long before so I really don’t know what will happen. All I know is I love the closeness we have right now and the littles, they grow so fast. I know this because I have a 16 year old and an 18 year old.
My oldest is 10 and I swear she was just born yesterday. 🙂 I hope you meet all of your goals and enjoy your breastfeeding journey!