Personal Posts

Happy New Year – My New Year’s Resolutions

New Years Resolutions via @chgdiapers

No, my resolutions don’t involve weight loss or any of the usual. However, they’re still pretty important to me, unusual as they may be.

  • Talk less & listen more
  • Really, really listen.

  • Patience, patience, patience!
  • Self explanatory. I need to work on this, especially when it comes to my children!

  • Worry less
  • I’ve wasted far too much of my life worrying, about everything. Worrying helps exactly nothing. I spend too much time worrying about what other people think of me, and wanting everyone to like me. I go out of my way to avoid offending anyone, yet I manage to do so anyway, sometimes as a direct result of my trying not to.

  • Be myself
  • This actually goes along with the above. If you know me well, I am a genuinely nice, caring, giving (and humble, ha ha) person, and I would never intentionally hurt someone’s feelings. Since I was a kid, I’ve tried hard to fit in, and I never really have. I want to try harder to be myself without spending so much time being concerned about others’ opinions. When I’m on my deathbed, and I really going to regret some person who really didn’t know me and didn’t matter, not liking me?

  • Live in the moment
  • This goes hand in hand with patience & not worrying. I want to try more to enjoy the little moments without worrying about the long term. (ex: go to the park without freaking out about all the laundry & dishes waiting for me at home.)

  • Not be as self critical
  • I am very hard on myself. No one is perfect but I beat myself up over mistakes, and I don’t handle criticism from others well.

  • Don’t compare myself to others in life or blogging.
  • Blogging was supposed to be fun, something for me, not another source of stress. The invisible ladder to nowhere is a waste of my time & energy. I want to be the best me I can be, and work as hard as I can without worrying about what others are doing, or how much better they are than me, or how little money I’m making in comparison. Comparing yourself to other moms/families is just plain silly, particularly since you have no idea what their lives are really like, only what they project to the public. No more comparing. It’s just a waste of time, am I right?

  • Focus on my marriage
  • Marriage is hard. Marriage with kids is really hard. Yes, there are moments that parenting brings you together, but it can be really easy to start resenting and even disliking your partner when your marriage always comes second to your kids.

  • Focus on myself
  • I feel a lot of guilt for doing anything that could even remotely be considered “for me.” Occasionally my husband will take the kids out so I can do laundry, dishes, cleaning, pay bills or work without interruption. If I end up taking a shower by myself, without an audience, and for more than 3 minutes, with hot water (very, very rare), I feel guilty. If I go to the grocery store by myself or with only 1 child, I feel guilty for leaving my husband alone with the kids. If my husband empties the dishwasher, or helps around the house in any way (rare) I feel guilty. Some people think parenting should be 50/50, others think it should be all me since I’m the mother/work from home/only work part time, but my guilt is internal not external. That is so stupid. It just leads me to be extremely anxious, stressed and incredibly resentful. This year I want to find a babysitter and spend an hour 2-3 times per week exercising, for me. For my sanity and my health. Minus the guilt.

I wrote and scheduled this post a few weeks ago and Jennifer Labit just posted a link to the article Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid. It couldn’t have been more timely. Nearly every point is something I want to work on. Apparently I’m just mentally weak, LOL.

How about you? Have you ever made a new year’s resolution, or goals for the new year?


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Maria Moser
Maria is the mother of 3, writing about cloth diapers & going green. You'll often find her juggling her preschooler and typing 1-handed in between sips of cold coffee. Maria works with many companies within the cloth diaper industry and beyond, providing social media management, product development and other services.
5 Comments
  • January 3, 2014 at 1:56 am
    Reply

    Ooh, I like your list. I think those are things almost everyone can work on, but I related to an awful lot of those. Thanks for saving me the time of putting together my own list 😉

  • January 2, 2014 at 9:26 pm
    Reply

    These resolutions are pretty great! I need to also stop and listen more and worry less. I am such a worry wart. I have been trying to work on it but I still have a little way to go. I hope you achieve them all.

  • Victoria
    January 1, 2014 at 7:03 pm
    Reply

    I also resolve to be available if anyone needs a sitter so that they can have some alone time.

  • Victoria
    January 1, 2014 at 7:02 pm
    Reply

    Wonderful goals to have, Maria. I think you’ll attain each and every one of them. I think they’re ones that I share, especially the one about listening. I do want to try to avoid being negative and to really, really think hard about anything I’m about to say. I’m thinking it’s better for me to just remain quiet. That in itself is going to be a challenge.

  • January 1, 2014 at 6:59 pm
    Reply

    This sounds a lot like me.. a few differences.. but very few…

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