No, my resolutions don’t involve weight loss or any of the usual. However, they’re still pretty important to me, unusual as they may be.
- Talk less & listen more
- Patience, patience, patience!
- Worry less
- Be myself
- Live in the moment
- Not be as self critical
- Don’t compare myself to others in life or blogging.
- Focus on my marriage
- Focus on myself
Really, really listen.
Self explanatory. I need to work on this, especially when it comes to my children!
I’ve wasted far too much of my life worrying, about everything. Worrying helps exactly nothing. I spend too much time worrying about what other people think of me, and wanting everyone to like me. I go out of my way to avoid offending anyone, yet I manage to do so anyway, sometimes as a direct result of my trying not to.
This actually goes along with the above. If you know me well, I am a genuinely nice, caring, giving (and humble, ha ha) person, and I would never intentionally hurt someone’s feelings. Since I was a kid, I’ve tried hard to fit in, and I never really have. I want to try harder to be myself without spending so much time being concerned about others’ opinions. When I’m on my deathbed, and I really going to regret some person who really didn’t know me and didn’t matter, not liking me?
This goes hand in hand with patience & not worrying. I want to try more to enjoy the little moments without worrying about the long term. (ex: go to the park without freaking out about all the laundry & dishes waiting for me at home.)
I am very hard on myself. No one is perfect but I beat myself up over mistakes, and I don’t handle criticism from others well.
Blogging was supposed to be fun, something for me, not another source of stress. The invisible ladder to nowhere is a waste of my time & energy. I want to be the best me I can be, and work as hard as I can without worrying about what others are doing, or how much better they are than me, or how little money I’m making in comparison. Comparing yourself to other moms/families is just plain silly, particularly since you have no idea what their lives are really like, only what they project to the public. No more comparing. It’s just a waste of time, am I right?
Marriage is hard. Marriage with kids is really hard. Yes, there are moments that parenting brings you together, but it can be really easy to start resenting and even disliking your partner when your marriage always comes second to your kids.
I feel a lot of guilt for doing anything that could even remotely be considered “for me.” Occasionally my husband will take the kids out so I can do laundry, dishes, cleaning, pay bills or work without interruption. If I end up taking a shower by myself, without an audience, and for more than 3 minutes, with hot water (very, very rare), I feel guilty. If I go to the grocery store by myself or with only 1 child, I feel guilty for leaving my husband alone with the kids. If my husband empties the dishwasher, or helps around the house in any way (rare) I feel guilty. Some people think parenting should be 50/50, others think it should be all me since I’m the mother/work from home/only work part time, but my guilt is internal not external. That is so stupid. It just leads me to be extremely anxious, stressed and incredibly resentful. This year I want to find a babysitter and spend an hour 2-3 times per week exercising, for me. For my sanity and my health. Minus the guilt.
I wrote and scheduled this post a few weeks ago and Jennifer Labit just posted a link to the article Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid. It couldn’t have been more timely. Nearly every point is something I want to work on. Apparently I’m just mentally weak, LOL.
How about you? Have you ever made a new year’s resolution, or goals for the new year?