As much as I’m not one to jump on the bandwagon on controversial topics, seeing ‘“hot mom defends herself against Facebook ‘haters'” struck a nerve. Really, I hate that I let this get under my skin!
3 under 3. I’m not sure if the implication is that if she (Maria Kang, the woman in the photo) looks like this after having three children in such a short time, or if it’s that she finds the time to work out with 3 little ones, you have no excuse. Maybe both. I think it was intended to be motivational, not malicious, but I have issues with the message and its effect on women.
Based on her website’s FAQs, she seems to have an awful lot of support. She spends 30-60 minutes at the gym (she says she likes to get there by 6:30) while her children are sleeping, getting them up at 8 (many of us don’t get that much time to ourselves in a day!) and clearly someone watches her children while she visits the residential facilities she owns, and has meetings, because I don’t see that going well with 3 children in tow. Having that kind of support alone would be huge. According to the Yahoo article, her husband does not work, and I can only assume that he is helping with laundry, dishes and child care, not sleeping until noon and playing video games.
While I understand the sentiment (I think?) and she’s definitely become
infamous famous, if that was her goal, but I think this missed the mark. I won’t harp on her physical appearance. Women come in all shapes & sizes, including 6-pack abs. Some women get stretch marks during pregnancy, some don’t. Some women already have stretch marks thanks to puberty! Whether she works incredibly hard, if she has great genes, a great support system, or a combination, I won’t fault her for looking fit. Not all of us can look that way, and you can be healthy without washboard abs! It’s important to be healthy, for your sake and your children’s. That doesn’t mean looking like a Sport’s Illustrated model.
I don’t like the implication that you have to look like she does in order to be happy and healthy. Let’s ignore the fact that I have the least elastic skin on the face of the earth. Yes, pregnancy stretched out my skin and the thinner I get, the grosser my stomach. Even if I had a “6-pack” you couldn’t see it under my loose skin. Not only that, but I am simply not genetically predisposed to that type of body. Back in the days when I was a stay at home mom, had only one child and lived in a neighborhood (super easy to exercise), my weight was at the very bottom of the BMI scale, I had very little body fat and I ran/trained nearly every day. I was strong, I felt fantastic, my blood pressure and cholesterol levels were amazing. I didn’t look like that.
Truth be told, I’m fine with that. Sure, I’d love a tummy tuck, but my goal has always been to be healthy and feel great. I can’t change my body type and I can’t change my genetics. These days, I eat good food, and get my exercise by pushing my kids on the swings, hauling laundry baskets up and down the stairs, wrestling with fitted sheets, and carrying my four year old and his brother when my older son’s legs “get tired.” 😉 I am hoping we’ll be able to move back into a neighborhood again so I can get back to easily exercising. For the record, I’m also perfectly healthy and thin enough that the “real women have curves” type things can sting a little.
Not all children sleep through the night, or alone, or nap and that’s not because the mom did something “wrong.” Not all mothers are OK with leaving their kids in a gym daycare, and not everyone can afford a gym membership nor the gas to get there. Some moms get support from their spouses or family, others do it all themselves. There will always be someone who has a smart reply for these concerns, and the be-all-end-all ends up being “well then you shouldn’t have had kids…” *sigh* You just can’t judge until you’ve
run a 5k walked a mile in another mama’s shoes.
Things like this are a punch in the gut for women struggling to get through the day, and who would choose sleep if they had an hour to themselves! It adds to the pressure on mothers to be absolutely perfect in every way. You must be dressed and put together every day, with your hair done and makeup on, your house must be spotless, you have to have Pinterest worthy meals, decorations & birthday parties, your children must be perfectly clean & dressed. Still, you can’t win because if you have a clean house, are in good shape etc., you must not love your kids because “real mothers” have stretch marks and sticky floors and cobwebs. In fact, Maria Kang’s website also states that she will do lunges or jump rope while her kids are playing at the park. I’m pretty sure someone will find that as reprehensible as if she had been checking work emails on her phone!
So my excuse? My 3 children, my genetics, and lack of money for plastic surgery. If you are able to “bounce back” after 3 kids, whether through hard work or genetics, good for you. I mean that as genuinely as possible, not in a snarky “GOOD for YOU” way. What’s more important is to take care of yourself. Be active in any way that you can, even if that’s just playing tag in the backyard with your children. Some moms have no trouble losing weight even while nursing but for others, their body clings to the weight (I can’t shake the last 5ish pounds while I’m still nursing.) Nursing mamas need to feed themselves in order to feed their babies, and shouldn’t necessarily be focused on a model-perfect body.
I “see” your hot mom (literally, I see it, not in the poker sense) and I raise you a tired, un-showered, crazy haired, coffee drinking, tired mom. (So tired that I said tired twice-and that makes 4.)
What do you think about this photo?