People constantly say that mothers need to enjoy it because it goes too fast. They’ll be grown up before you know it. I suppose it’s true. My daughter is 11 now and it feels like she was born yesterday and a million years ago all at once.
Yet, every now and again I sit and think about it and I get panicky. Enjoy every moment! They’ll be grown up before you know it! I look at my 4 & 7 year old boys, driving me crazy by fighting with each other and screaming, and I lose my breath. Am I really going to blink and they’ll no longer need me? I feel this way a bit more about my boys than my daughter because I believe she’ll still want to be close to me as she moves through adulthood. Boys I know will eventually meet a woman and will turn to her, not their mother. Hopefully they will choose someone who will allow me to be a part of their, and their children’s lives.
It’s bizarre right now to think about waking up and not having the identity of “mother” but I know that as they get older, I’ll have more freedom to expand beyond “Mom.” It’s scary to think about being all alone without my kids to care for. That’s who I’ve been for more than a decade. By the time my last child is an adult, I will have been “Mom” for about 25 years – more than half my life at that point.
When you’re on the merry-go-round of making lunches and meals and picking up toys and mopping muddy floors and breaking up fights, it’s pretty hard to “savor every moment.” Still, I cherish little hugs and moments of belly aching laughter with my children. No, it won’t last forever, but I’m going to focus on today. If we had a rotten day, we’ll have a better one tomorrow.
I am not going to wake up tomorrow in my 50’s with adult children. Maybe when I get there it will feel like I did. Maybe it won’t. Every new stage is exciting and fun and I refuse to let anxiety keep me from truly enjoying it but focusing on how quickly it will go.
Do you ever feel sad when people constantly tell you how fast your children’s youth with go?