People constantly say that mothers need to enjoy it because it goes too fast. They’ll be grown up before you know it. I suppose it’s true. My daughter is 11 now and it feels like she was born yesterday and a million years ago all at once.
Yet, every now and again I sit and think about it and I get panicky. Enjoy every moment! They’ll be grown up before you know it! I look at my 4 & 7 year old boys, driving me crazy by fighting with each other and screaming, and I lose my breath. Am I really going to blink and they’ll no longer need me? I feel this way a bit more about my boys than my daughter because I believe she’ll still want to be close to me as she moves through adulthood. Boys I know will eventually meet a woman and will turn to her, not their mother. Hopefully they will choose someone who will allow me to be a part of their, and their children’s lives.
It’s bizarre right now to think about waking up and not having the identity of “mother” but I know that as they get older, I’ll have more freedom to expand beyond “Mom.” It’s scary to think about being all alone without my kids to care for. That’s who I’ve been for more than a decade. By the time my last child is an adult, I will have been “Mom” for about 25 years – more than half my life at that point.
When you’re on the merry-go-round of making lunches and meals and picking up toys and mopping muddy floors and breaking up fights, it’s pretty hard to “savor every moment.” Still, I cherish little hugs and moments of belly aching laughter with my children. No, it won’t last forever, but I’m going to focus on today. If we had a rotten day, we’ll have a better one tomorrow.
I am not going to wake up tomorrow in my 50’s with adult children. Maybe when I get there it will feel like I did. Maybe it won’t. Every new stage is exciting and fun and I refuse to let anxiety keep me from truly enjoying it but focusing on how quickly it will go.
Do you ever feel sad when people constantly tell you how fast your children’s youth with go?
Maria wants to live in a world where cloth diapers are the norm and moms can make parenting choices without judgement. When she’s not chasing her 18, 14 and 11-year old kids around, you might find her checking out the latest gadgets, organizing something (again) or exercising in the fresh air. 
Luke,
Sometimes it can be easy to feel like you’re “missing it” because being a parent can be stressful and overwhelming. At time, it can be difficult to be present in every moment!
I think the error is believing that it will go quickly, passing us by, and we will have missed something.
The reality is that we will be there, moving through time with them and experiencing every moment.
We aren’t going to miss anything.
This was really spot on. I have 3 kids, 4, 8 and 9, and now i have started to panic because time goes too fast, and my oldest one is allready 9!
The first 4-5 years with my two oldest was very stressfull, and I feel I did not live in the “moment”, but after a long day at work, I was looking forward to getting them to bed, so I could relax for some time before going to bed myself.
Now im am trying to get back the “lost time”, I am spending as much time as possible with them, coaching them at soccer, going on bicycles rides, and just spending as much time as possible with them.
My biggets problem is that I am constantly thinking of turning back the time, and do it all over again, but with another approach. It is the small things that matters in the daily life…
Wow, I can’t believe it’s been 4 years since I read your post about your home-birth experience with your youngest son!! I do get anxiety when people talk about how soon they will be grown. It also gives me guilt! 🙁 It makes me feel like there will definitely be things I wish I had or hadn’t done. It makes me worry I’ll look back with regrets because I let it all “get away from me” before getting around to doing the things that were important. Maybe that’s silly. But it’s hard to be a parent without feeling like you should have done this or that differently…
I think you just hit the nail on the head. It’s more that I will look back and regret than look back fondly & miss it.