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If you’ve been around a while, you know that I’m a home-birther (to the extreme), a baby wearer, a cloth diapering advocate, I make my own baby food, I breastfeed into toddler-hood, I rear faced by daughter until 4, harnessed until nearly 7, and I’m newly a co-sleeper. My goal is for every mom and mom-to-be to be fully informed, but you won’t catch me judging a scheduled c-section, disposable diapering, Gerber using mom with a crib sleeping baby. Why? Because I’ve been judged, and it sucks!
Frankly, I’m used to being judged for breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, cloth diapering and the like. I’m getting used to being judged for not being “green enough” in that I still use mainstream personal care products for myself, and I use Tide on my cloth diapers.
However, a few years ago I had an experience that still sticks in my craw. I’ll try to keep it short.
If you have never had a child who would.not.sleep, you may not entirely understand this. Rewind to August 2009. My son was 3 months old, and my daughter was 4 1/2 and attending preschool 3 days a week, 2 1/2 hours each day. The preschool was about 15 minutes away, and I had to park, get the kids out, walk into the building to sign her in, and leave. 5 minutes max. At that point, my son would only “nap” if he happened to doze off nursing, and every darn time I tried to put him down, he’d wake up. Shamefully, I even tried the swing (sometimes worked at night in the beginning) but as soon as I tried, he’d be wide awake.
The one time he’d fall asleep was in the car, so pretty much every time, he’d be asleep before we’d gotten to the preschool. These days, I can unbuckle him, carry him inside and set him on the couch. Back then, as soon as I unbuckled the chest clip, he was wide awake. Forget actually transferring him anywhere. So, I’d have to unbuckle him, wake him up, take my daughter inside, then deal with the fact that he absolutely did not want to get back in that doggone car seat, buckle him up, listen to him scream for 15 minutes, then get him home and calmed down.
Although I realize that car seats are for riding in the car, I took advantage of the infant seat and attempted to gingerly carry him into the building and back. Unfortunately for me, there was too much jostling involved and he woke up (I tried twice.) So, it was either unbuckle him and have to carry both him and the seat back up the steps and through the parking lot, then buckle him again, or leave him in the seat for less than 5 minutes. I left him in the seat.
So keep in mind that I tried this twice before I ended up just putting the sleepy wrap on before we left the house, putting him in, carrying him down, walking back to the car, taking him out and buckling him back up. There was another Mom (there were only 8-10 kids in the class) that wasn’t always the one to drop her daughter off, and wasn’t always there when I was dropping mine off (there was about a 10 minute window to drop kids off) who seemed to always be around when I had my son in the car seat, but never when I was carrying or wearing him.
Well, this same Mom was also a member of a MOM’s club I joined (another long story on why I joined & why I left.) To make a long story short, my non-napper was also not a fan of sitting still at that age, and tired very quickly of walking around & around the same room. He was great at the grocery store, but miserable when trying to visit family, or when attending MOM’s club events or meetings. If he was awake, I was left trying to keep an eye on my daughter while bouncing and walking him around, anything to keep him from screaming, until we finally had to leave, with my daughter usually upset and me about at the end of my rope.
Can you see where this is going yet? Twice, my son was asleep when we got to events. Once, I popped the seat out and put it in the stroller and let him sleep. I guess because it was rolling smoothly instead of jostling, he stayed asleep for quite a while. Another time I carried the seat inside the host’s house (and it was this mom of course!) and let him sleep for a few minutes before he woke up.
Other than that, I moved him in the seat once or twice while he was sleeping during a visit to my parents and maybe twice when he fell asleep as he was tagging along to my daughter’s playdates. The rest of his waking (and many of his sleeping, LOL) hours were spent either held, or in the sleepy wrap.
I saw the mom another time and she says “Oh! This is the first time I’ve seen him out of his ‘bucket!'” OK, it sounds innocent enough as typed, but believe me, the intent and tone behind her words was there, and it was not just me being sensitive. The inference was that I was one of “those” moms that just toted the kid around in the “bucket” like some sort of luggage.
It is really unsettling to be judged for doing/being something/someone you’re not! Gosh darn it, I am not a baby bucket carrier! Them’s fightin’ words! (to be said like Sandy from Spongebob.)
So, if I see you toting your child around, awake and bouncing against your knee in that “bucket,” I’m gonna smile. I might even tell you he’s cute. But I’m not going to judge you, because I have no idea if that bottle is filled with breastmilk, if you were unable to breastfeed, if your babysitter put that sposie on your baby…and frankly, it’s none of my darned business. 🙂
Even with “modern cloth diapers” like pocket diapers, Velcro closures and snappis, there’s still something to be said for the simplicity, portability and affordability of diaper pins. I bought a 6-pack at Babies r Us for $2.99 ($1.00 a pair) long ago, but I wondered if the pins sold by cloth diaper stores were any different or any better. So, I bought a pair from Cottonbabies which are made by All Together Diaper (makers of OsoCozy) for $1.00, and a 4-pack (2 pair) of Dritz Diaper Pins from Diaper Junction for $1.29. The Cottonbabies pins look exactly like the Babies R Us pins, except that the Babies R Us pins have “China” stamped on the reverse of the head, and the head doesn’t have the angle the Cottonbabies pins have.
The Dritz pins are a little different:
The Dritz pins are curved, and have “locking heads,” which I figured was the same as all diaper pins (like the ones from Cottonbabies on the right) where you have to push it in and past an obstacle to open it. When I got them, the first one opened just fine, but I struggled like heck with the second one, until I realized what “locking head” actually meant!!
Rather than a plastic head attached to the pin, the Dritz is all metal (like a regular safety pin) with an additional plastic head attached that slides up and down.
To use the pin, you have to slide the plastic head up, open or close the pin, then slide the plastic head back down to lock it in place. The slight curve of the pin makes it even easier to use, and they seem to be sharper as well. I didn’t have much trouble at all getting them to glide through multiple layers of a hemp prefold, while the other pins had to be poked through soap first!
It will not open with the plastic head slid down. I don’t know if long term the metal vs. plastic will make it more durable, or if the additional moving parts/sliding plastic head will make it less so. At $1.29 for 2 pair they are very affordable! Prefolds, flats (a dozen Diaper Rite flats are $17.50) or even flour sack towels
FTC compliance: Although I paid normal retail prices for the pictured items, this post contains affiliate links. I was not compensated for this post, and all opinions are my own.
Need cloth diaper advice? Every week, I answer a question asked by a reader, and give other readers the chance to weigh in.
Questions don’t have to be cloth diaper related, just email maria at change-diapers.com with “Mailbox Mondays” in the subject, or fill out my contact form for readers, which you will always be able to find on my Contact Page.
Aislinn says::
My little girl is due in a week and a half, and I can’t wait to start cloth diapering her! I’m from Florida but live in Asia right now. I have no washing machine or dryer, but I do have a house helper who does our laundry by hand. Our CD stash is mostly prefolds & covers with a couple of pocket diapers plus some additional inserts (microfiber and hemp).
I am looking for any and all advice you might have on hand-washing diapers! What’s the best process? What detergent should I use? How often should I wash?
I need to make sure I understand this well enough to try it myself and then teach it to someone else in another language I’ve only been learning for 6 months! Thanks so much for your help.
Hand washing won’t be as easy as using a washing machine, but it can be done! The key to successful hand washing will be similar to machine washing: using enough water, hot enough water, enough detergent (but not too much), agitation and thorough rinsing.
Several moms I know have to pay to wash their diapers, so they partially hand wash them (pre-rinsing and such) to save money. Last year, Alyssa wrote a guest post on cloth diapering without a washing machine, and she details her wash routine there. Hannah used flats while traveling to Italy, and while she had access to a washing machine, flats do well with hand washing since they are a single layer (they will dry quickly too.)
The prefolds and covers will likely be much easier to keep clean that microfiber (the shape of the fibers tend to grab oily material more than natural fibers) but they’re not impossible to hand wash; they will just require more agitation and rinsing.
I don’t know what detergents you have available in Asia, but stay away from anything with bleach, fabric softeners or optical brighteners if at all possible. Often, less expensive store brands have fewer additives than premium brands.
Have you hand washed cloth diapers? What was your wash routine!
Thanks to all my march top fans on Facebook and to the winner of the alternate runner up prize! Be sure to hang out on the Facebook page in April for more chances, as well as getting a daily alternate entry. I think everyone had fun chatting in March!
Maria wants to live in a world where cloth diapers are the norm and moms can make parenting choices without judgement. When she’s not chasing her 18, 14 and 11-year old kids around, you might find her checking out the latest gadgets, organizing something (again) or exercising in the fresh air. Read More »
