11 – Dealing with the Death of a Child

Dec 19,2011 / By Maria / 3 Comments

It’s mailbox Monday. On Monday, I publish a reader submitted question, and ask my readers to weigh in!

Questions don’t have to be cloth diaper related, just email maria at change-diapers.com with “Mailbox Mondays” in the subject, or fill out my contact form for readers, which you will always be able to find on my Contact Page.

Allison says:

Hello,

Today is the memorial service of my nephew who passed away 1 day before his 2nd birthday. He had brain cancer. It was so hard to watch him deteriorate. I can’t imagine how his parents (my husbands brother & his wife) are feeling. As sad as I feel, I know they feel it 100x worse. I have a 22-month old son and the parents of the deceased can’t stand to see my healthy, vibrant, alive son.

I’m looking for some input from other families who have suffered a loss of a young child so that I may act appropriately around my brother-in-law’s family. When can we start spending time with them again? They have two older children (12 and 10) who love to play with my son.

What signs should I watch for in the parents if they might need comfort from me? I feel like they need their privacy and space right now but I don’t like just standing by doing nothing. What can I do for them?

I hope you and your readers are able to help me out.
Thanks,
Allison

Allison, first I want to say how sorry I am for the loss of your nephew. I am not the most qualified to help you with this, but hopefully my readers will have tips and advice for you.

Things that I’ve been thinking about are to try to be there for them. If you “give them space,” they may feel isolated. Be up front with them. Tell them you love them, you support them, and you’re here for them, but you don’t want to hurt them further by having your son around.

I think the most important thing you can do for a grieving person in general (not just one who has lost a child) is to be there for them. Don’t just say you’ll be there for them, but actually be there. Especially after the initial flurry of family & friends dies down after the first few weeks. Lend an ear and listen while they share memories of their loved one, and share yours too. I think often people are afraid to upset the grieving person, so they will try to ignore/pretend it never happened (seems to occur a lot with still birth and miscarriage as well.) He will always be their son, and I’m sure they want him to be remembered. When a woman loses her husband, she is a “widow,” but what is a mother who loses her child called? In the coming years, people may ask her how many children she has. Does she say two, or three? I just can’t imagine losing a child.

I’m also guessing that both your brother-in-law and his wife are going to be dragging themselves around, going through the motions for quite a while. It might help them to have some easy to heat meals frozen & delivered to them, or to receive gift cards to local take-out restaurants if you’re able to do that. Most people say “call me if you need anything” but the grieving person is rally pretty unlikely to do that. Instead, I suggest you (or your husband) simply offer specific things (like grabbing a few groceries for them, driving their other children to activities or helping out with other errands you know they need to do.)

Unfortunately, I’m sure too many of my readers have been in this situation. Readers, do you have suggestions for Allison on how she can help her BIL & SIL?

Cloth Diaper Giveaway Roundup for 12/16/11 (Plus Linky for All Giveaways)

Dec 16,2011 / By Maria / 2 Comments

Who has two thumbs and wants to win cloth diapers? This gal! Every Friday, I list cloth diaper, accessory and baby wearing giveaways from all over the place.

If you’d like me to list your cloth diaper, accessory, baby wearing (etc.) giveaway next week, send a link and description to maria at change-diapers.com, or Fill out my contact form for readers.

My $110 Lil Helper Cloth Diaper Package Giveaway ends 12/20 and is open to the U.S. and Canada RC

*Prizes from Fuzzibunz (no set end date, ends at 25k fans) Entry is through Facebook app, must “like” them on Facebook to enter

*Grandma El’s Diaper Rash Remedy from Eco Baby Mama Drama Mandatory GFC follow (ends 12/16) RC

*Kissaluvs Fitted from Thanks Mama and Naturally Thrifty Mom (ends 12/16) RC

*Thirsties Fab Fitted from Thanks Mama and Naturally Thrifty Mom (ends 12/16) RC

*$15 Sandbox Lane GC from Life With Levi (ends 12/16) RC

*GoGreen Diaper & Wet Bag from Life With Levi Mandatory GFC follow (ends 12/16) RC

*Bunnzoo Baby Diaper from Oh The Joys of Boys Two mandatory Facebook “likes” (ends 12/16) RC

*Fancy Pants Diaper & Wet Bag from Life with Levi (ends 12/16) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

Tender Tushies Diaper from Tailor Made Mama (ends 12/16) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

Planet Wise Pail Liner from Mom’s Milk Boutique’s Blog (ends 12/16) RC

Boba Wrap, Carrier & Pack (ends 12/16) RC

*Babykicks Diaper from Eco-Babyz Mandatory GFC follow (ends 12/17) RC

*Softbums Omni from One More Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest Mandatory GFC follow and Facebook comment (ends 12/17) RC

*Green Bees Diaper from Daily Mothering (ends 12/17) RC

*BoogaButt Diaper from Bottom of the Sixth Two Mandatory Faceook “likes” (ends 12/18) RC

*GoGreen Champ Diaper & Adapt-A-Snap from Eco Baby Mama Drama Mandatory GFC follow (ends 12/18) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

*$10 Green Baby Store GC from Nicki, The Eval Gal (ends 12/18) RC

Lotus Bumz Diaper from The Cloth Diaper Convert (ends 12/18) RC

Planet Wise Wet Bag from Nicki’s Diapers Mandatory GFC follow and Facebook “like” (ends 12/19) RC

Buns Up Baby Diaper from Sensibly Green (ends 12/19) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

$10 CC Baby GC from Sophie and Momma Mandatory Google+ add (ends 12/19) RC

*Rocket Bottom Diaper from Cloth Diaper Kids and Organic Mama (ends 12/20) Open to Canada only RC

*Cuddle Butt Wool Longies from Bottom of the Sixth Mandatory Facebook “like” (ends 12/20) RC

*Bummas Wipes from Sisters N Cloth (ends 12/20) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

*PUliWooli Diaper from DIBS (ends 12/20) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

*$25 Ultimate Green Store GC from So Easy Being Green (ends 12/20) RC

*Grandma El’s Diaper Rash Remedy from The Mommy Goods (ends 12/20) RC

*Blossom and Bugs Fleece Longies from Bottom of the Sixth Two mandatory Facebook “likes” (ends 12/20) RC

*Orange Diaper Co Fitted & Wipes from The Not So Secret Confessions of a Second Time Mom (ends 12/20) RC

*Incredibum Wet Bag from Newly Crunchy Mama of 3 (ends 12/20) RC

*Mabu Baby Starter Kit from Nicki The Eval Gal (ends 12/20) RC

Mother-Ease Diaper from Coping with Frugality (ends 12/20) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

Thirsties Duo Diaper from Brookie’s Baby Bargains (ends 12/20) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

Glow Bug Diaper from One More Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest Mandatory GFC follow (ends 12/21) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

Pulli Wooli Diaper from Really Are You Serious (ends 12/21) RC

Thirsties Duo Diapers (ends 12/21) RC

$20 Diaper Daisy GC from Biehl Adventures Mandatory Facebook “like” (ends 12/21) RC

$25 Little Fancy Pants GC from Fabulous Family Reviews & Giveaways Two mandatory Facebook “likes” (ends 12/22) RC

Cloth Diaper Package from Diaper Parties by Erin Mandatory GFC follow and Facebook “like” (ends 12/22) RC

Fuzzibunz Elite Diaper from Life with my Littles Mandatory GFC follow (ends 12/22) RC

Fuzzibunz Elite Diaper from Measuring Flower (ends 12/23) RC

Bumgenius, Tiny Tush & Fuzzibunz Diapers from Abby’s Lane & Dirty Diaper Laundry (ends 12/23) RC

Red Barn AI2 from Eco Baby Mama Drama (ends 12/23) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

Better Bottom Diaper from Tailor Made Momma (ends 12/23) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

4 Cloth Diapers from Greenie Beanie Bottoms Mandatory Facebook “like” (ends 12/23) RC

*Peachy Green AIO from Padded Tush Stats (ends 12/24) RC

Diaper Rite Diaper from Newly Crunchy Mama of 3 (ends 12/24) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

$15 Howler Monkey Bums GC from Nicki the Eval Gal Mandatory Etsy “favorite” (ends 12/25) RC

*Lotus Bumz Diapers from Networking Witches (ends 12/26)

Smart Snugs Diaper from Dirty Diaper Laundry (ends 12/26) RC

Fuzzibunz Trainer from The Mommy Goods (ends 12/27) RC

Thirsties Fab Wipes, Booty Luster & Booty Love from Letters from Momma (ends 12/27) RC

*Fuzzibunz Diaper from Changing Diapers & Eco Crazy Mom (ends 12/28) RC

Bumgenius Elemental from Naturally Healthy Parenting (ends 12/28) RC

*Knickernappies Diaper from Bum Covered Diapers and Real Adventures from a Mom of 3 Mandatory GFC follow (ends 12/29) RC

Beco Baby Carrier from The Not So Secret Confessions (ends 12/29) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

Lotus Bumz Diaper from Eco Baby Mama Drama Mandatory GFC follow (ends 12/29) RC

Boba Carrier, Wrap or Pack from We Have It All (ends 12/30) RC

Boba Baby Carrier from Simple Mandatory Facebook “like” (ends 12/30) RC

Boba Carrier, wrap or pack from Eco Baby Mama Drama Mandatory Facebook “like” (ends 12/30) RC

Softbums Diaper from Trying to go Green Mandatory GFC follow and Facebook “like” (ends 12/31) RC

*Bumgenius & Flip Diapers from Diaper Style (ends 12/31)

*Planet Wise Wet Bag from Diaper Style (ends 12/31)

*Happy Heinys Fitted from Diaper Style (ends 12/31)

*Fuzzibunz Elite Diaper from Snappy Diapers Mandatory GFC follow (ends 12/31)

*Bummis Super Whisper Wrap from Diaper Style (ends 12/31)

*Applecheeks Diaper from Diaper Style (ends 12/31)

*Econobum Kit from Sandbox Lane (ends 12/31)

Rainbow Monster Diaper from Naturally Thrifty Mom (ends 12/31) Open to the U.S. and Canada RC

Glow Bug Diaper from Mommy Adventure Mandatory GFC follow and Facebook “like” (ends 12/31) RC

*$25 Bugaboo Baby & You GC from DIYMommyPonx Mandatory RSS feed subscription and Facebook “like” (ends 1/1/12)

*Knickernappies Diaper from Wee Little Changes Mandatory GFC follow (ends 1/1/12)

*Fuzzibunz Diaper from Changing Diapers and Trying to Go Green Mandatory GFC follow and Facebook “like” (ends 1/1/12) RC

Diaper Rite Diaper from Mommy of Two Little Monkeys (ends 1/2/12) RC

*Changing Diapers Sweepstakes – Lots of Cloth Diaper Prizes! (ends 1/2/12) Entry is on Facebook, mandatory Facebook “like” Open to the U.S. and Canada Name/email form, Daily entry

*Applecheeks Sweepstakes (ends 1/6/12) Entry is on Facebook via Woobox Form

*giveaways that have been listed in a prior week’s roundup
RC Entries collected via Rafflecopter
GD Entries collected via Google Docs Form

You may enter any “family friendly” giveaway in the linky below. The form Blog name – Giveaway Item – Ending date works well. Please at least include the item and end date, and link directly to the giveaway.

View my where I list my giveaways post, to find more places to link up your giveaways!

Baby Products Coupon Discount Natural Personal Care Products Review

Madre Labs Mild by Nature Bath Products for Baby – Review & Giveaway (CLOSED 12/22)

Dec 15,2011 / By Maria / 14 Comments

Madre Labs creates quality superfoods, personal care and facial care products, as well as their Mild by Nature baby care line.

Each Mild by Nature package has the “No No-Nos” Seal, which means no sulfates, parabens, dyes, animal ingredients or animal testing! The ingredients are considered gentle, biodegradable and “green” and have received good safety ratings. Products are also in eco-friendly packaging. I received the entire product line to review, and one of you will win the same!

Each product was sealed. The products have a light, fruity scent.

The shampoo & body wash is tear free and made with natural oils and extracts. A 12.85 oz bottle retails for $16.95.

Since it doesn’t contain harsh surfectants, the shampoo/body wash doesn’t make huge suds. It was easy to rinse out and left my daughter’s hair soft & clean.

The hair conditioner is gentle and helps detangle hair without weighing it down. A 9 oz bottle retails for $8.95.

It was neither too thick nor too thin and made my daughter’s hair easy to comb without leaving any residue.

The everyday lotion is lightly scented and retails for $12.95 for an 8.8 oz bottle.

It has a nice texture to soften skin without feeling greasy.

The everyday lotion is also available unscented. An 8.8 oz bottle retails for $12.95.

It has all of the gentle emollients & moisturizers without the scent.

The bubble bath is soap free and gentle. A 12.85 oz bottle retails for $13.95.

The bottle says how many capfuls to use to get different amounts of bubbles. I just gave a squirt, then swished the bubbles around, and it made tons of bubbles.

The bitty bottom cream is fragrance free and retails for $13.95 for a 4 oz tube.

Since it contains zinc oxide, make sure you use a liner when using with cloth diapers.

I also received a big bunch of samples of other Madre Labs products and hubby and I are having fun trying them all!

You can find Madre Labs and Mild by Nature products on iHerb.com. First time iherb customers can use coupon code WOW123 to get $5 off their first order!

Giveaway: One reader will receive the same 6, full size products I reviewed, a $79.70 value. The winner MUST REGISTER to the iHerb.com website to claim the prize.

Motherhood Personal Posts

How Did You Know Your Family Was Complete?

Dec 14,2011 / By Maria / 9 Comments

I know I sound crazy even thinking about this while typing 1-handed and holding my newborn son…

When I was pregnant with my second child, I just knew I didn’t want him to be my last. Throughout the pregnancy, labor, even a few minutes after he was born. I couldn’t imagine not doing it all again. Morning sickness, swelling, heartburn, hips so sore I had to crawl to the bathroom at night…still wanted to do it again!

This pregnancy, the whole time I was asking myself “why did I think this was a good idea again?” Every time one of my kids had a tantrum, every night that I tossed & turned. I still cherished every kick, don’t get me wrong. I just felt like I realllyyyyy didn’t want to do this again.

I don’t know if I want more children. I certainly wouldn’t be devastated if it happened, but since there are almost 7 years between my oldest & youngest, I feel like I’ve been doing the “baby thing” forever already.

Yet, holding my son and looking at his sweet face, I feel a twinge thinking that we may never have another little baby again, and everything that goes along with that.

I’m guessing these are normal feelings in the postpartum haze, and that at some point in the future, I’ll know for sure.

I just wondered how those who are “done” knew for sure that their family was complete.

Cloth Diapers Diaper Accessories

Introducing Fluff Bling!

Dec 13,2011 / By Maria / 1 Comment

Fluff Bling is the newest cloth diaper accessory from Hiney Lineys. Embroidered, snap on patches let you customize your diapers. Just snap onto an unused snap, and your plain diaper will have a brand new look!